Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Daily Report: Call It What You Want

I've got another new internet project going on, and this time I've got a partner. He has his own name for the project, but I'm calling it The Bubba Gump Project, after the scene in the movie Forrest Gump where Forrest and Lieutenant Dan get caught out at sea in a hurricane and thus miraculously miss the destruction of the entire Gulf Coast shrimping industry back on shore, which leaves them alone to catch all the shrimp and reap untold riches. No, of course you don't understand the relevance: That's the point. Other than my name for it and the fact that I'm doing it with a partner that's all I can tell you; the rest is a secret. I put in a few hours on it yesterday as we get it up and rolling. Within a month, we'll know if we've struck gold, tin, or "out".

Also, I'm getting set up with my first Virtual Assistant client. We'll be starting work together next Monday: 10 hours a week doing proofing and editing of copy written by Filipino writers. It's a bit funny: I haven't advertised the Jilw.US site anywhere, but somebody has been going around putting up links to the site which actually wound up giving it a page ranking.

Thanks. Unfortunately those links don't help my business much: I have a second Virtual Assistant site using my real name (the name that I don't go splashing around on the internet for obvious reasons; the one on my passport, et cetera) that I won't link to on this blog. That is the website that I'm advertising, linking to on the Virtual Assistant forums and other places where V.A's advertise, putting on my business card, et cetera: those Jilw.US links are only linking to the site targeted solely at my blog readers. No offense, but I need to keep some of you people separate from my "official life"... my "professional life"; something I've been doing ever since I first logged on the internet.

Yes, dear readers: "Jil Wrinkle" is merely a nom de plume. (Epril is really Epril, but the "Wrinkle" part doesn't show up on paper anywhere.) I was born with the last name Wrinkle, but legally changed that name 14 years ago to the family name my grandfather (father's father) was born with. Hence the initials: J.I.L., which was also my internet moniker for years — going back even before the official name change — all the way to the old university computer bulletin boards in 1992. I stuck the "Wrinkle" back on when "J.I.L." (the initials) turned into "Jil" (the name) while I was in Thailand and I needed a last name. (I spent a lot of time on the various Pattaya community websites as J.I.L. before moving there, chatting with residents and gathering information. When I arrived in Pattaya — the first time my "real life" and "cyber life" had ever intersected — everybody I had met online just kept calling me "Jil" and the name stuck.)

So in truth I guess I should say "Jil" started off as just a nom de plume: But now everybody calls me by that name, even my family, and that's how I introduce myself at parties. But for employment and taxes, official documents, bank accounts, the people I work with (or might work with), I use the legal, "secret" J.I.L. name.

(... and now you know the rest of the story.)

Mom has continued buying stuff for Epril and my new apartment. Yesterday she even showed up with a medicine cabinet: Aspirin and other pain relievers, allergy medicine, antacids, lotions, et cetera. Mom says her mother did this for her when she married my father and they got their first place, buying all of the hundred little things that a home needs. She has rented one of those storage rooms in which to keep all these things, and it is really filling up with pots and pans, plates and bowls, forks and knives, glasses and mugs, spatulas and ladles, oven mitts and dish towels, and many other things.

I've sent Epril off on a vacation to Bohol with her friends as a present since I got my tax return. She is going to visit the Chocolate Hills, and she said something about going to see Tyson on the island, but I think I misheard. She and her two friends (the Demon Girls) are trying to hunt down the fourth member of their Demon Girl circle of friends from high school whom they haven't heard from since, who moved to Bohol shortly after graduation.

The Cul-de-sac I live on is almost empty now: the Florida high season is finished. Soon it will be just me and Jim across the street, while the other 6 houses sit empty until next fall. Uncle Bob will still be just across the back yard though, and Aunt Alice up the road about half a mile.


Lloyd said...

Do you realize it is a federal felony to register a domain with false information? Quite stupid to post this information on your blog. The WHOIS for you website is not accurate according to what you just posted. Talk about self incrimination.

Jil Wrinkle said...

That's a bit of sorely mistaken information on your part. The Fraudulent Online Identity Sanctions Act only applies to domain names registered with false information for the purpose of committing crime. In other words, if you are found guilty of a cybercrime, your penalty can be increased up to 7 years if, in the commission of that crime, you registered a website under a false name. (This congressional measure was primarily designed to fight online piracy and has been in place for almost 7 years.)

The use of a nickname in registering a site is not a crime in any way, shape, or form, never has been, and never will be.

Heheh: Half of the people who ever purchased the geocities domains back in the day, or set up the standalone AOL homepages would be in federal prison if you were right about that.

Read here for more information. To sum it up, as one poster said, "[Y]ou have nothing to worry about if you never get convicted of a felony as a result of your website."

butt said...


Your story doesn't make any sense.

So you were born a Wrinkle. That would had to be your father's last name.
And that would have been his father's (your grandfather)last name.
So you are saying you changed your name from Wrinkle to Wrinkle.

Here is what you said: "but legally changed that name 14 years ago to the family name my grandfather (father's father) was born with."

So what does J.I.L. have to do with anything? I think you should have thought out your lie a bit better.

You are really a character.

Jil Wrinkle said...

My grandfather was born in the upper peninsula of Michigan and moved to Albany, New York during the great depression. He couldn't find work.

One day, he heard The Hamilton Printing Company in East Greenbush had jobs available. He went to the place to find out that there were only 2 openings, 50 applicants, and they weren't going to interview any more people. He was too late.

Not having anywhere else to go, my grandfather decided to wait around to see if anything would turn up.... part time work or anything. While he was sitting in the waiting room, the secretary came out and called out, "Next! Mr. Wrinkle? Mr. Wrinkle?" Nobody answered.

My grandfather stood up, said, "I'm Mr. Wrinkle." He went into the interviewers office, got the job, and worked for the Hamilton Printing Company for the next 40 years... and lived the rest of his life... with that last name.

After my grandfather died, we eventually found out who the "real" Mr. Wrinkle was who walked out of the waiting room that fateful day back almost 80 years ago. He too had died just recently, never knowing that he gave my grandfather more than just his spot waiting for a job interview all those years ago.

butt said...

Good story, but in the original post you said: "the family name my grandfather (father's father) was born with."

Notice your words? "BORN WITH"

Keep trying.

Jil Wrinkle said...

You must be a little low on the intelligence scale, so I'll explain it slooowwwly:

My grandfather was born with one last name (ending in L). Okay?

Then when he got to the Hamilton Printing Company, he said he was Mr. Wrinkle to get the job interview. Do you see?

They didn't have good records back in those days, so you could just call yourself whatever you liked.

Do you understand? If not, there's really just no hope for you.

butt said...

A few more questions, if you don't mind.

Since you were born with the last name of Wrinkle, I assume that was also the given name to your father upon his birth. So my question is, did all your grandfather's other relatives also assume the name of Wrinkle?

Was your grandfather married at the time? Was your father born before or after your grandfather assumed the name of Wrinkle?

Didn't anyone think it odd that all of a sudden your grandfather was going by a different last name?

Just don't want to be the idiot here and assume anything else, and get called names. But you do know it works both ways.

butt said...

While I am waiting for that apology, you can look here:

I have an email on its way to where your grandfather was born to confirm that he WAS BORN with the last name of Wrinkle. So do you now admit that I am right? He was BORN with the last name that I claim.

Jil Wrinkle said...

Good questions. (And I only reply to my commenters with the same tone at which they speak to me.)

My Grandfather changed his name circa 1928, I would guess... so he was about 19 or 20 years at the time. Not married, and before my father was born. I'm not sure how many people he even knew in the Albany/East Greenbush area.

Honestly, I don't know what was involved in the whole "name change" on my grandfather's part — whether he just said "I'm Mr. Wrinkle", and that's was the end of it, or whether at some point he made some declaration after the fact, admitted the truth, or what... I suppose that bit is lost to history. (It actually was an aspect of my grandfather's life he really did not discuss with people; I think he was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that he gave up his family name just to get a job.)

Come on my blog and call me a liar if you want, but every part of my grandfather's story is true.


Yup... that's him. You sure are putting a lot of effort into this, my dear butt.

The only part of my story that I'll adjust since you've got that bit of information was that the secretary at the Hamilton Printing Company actually didn't ask for "Mr. Wrinkle", she asked for "William Wrinkle". Notice the Joesph in the middle though? That's the "J" in J.I.L.

And just as a final thought Butt...

You say you're going to go around online and get your friends to write about how you discovered that somebody is lying about their name on the internet...

... and then you insist I reconsider the fact that you might be an idiot?

Jil Wrinkle said...

Just an update:

3 days after Butt sent this infamous e-mail he mentioned looking for my Grandfather's birth record (I would be flattered at the effort and attention my grandfather's story is receiving from Butt if I didn't suspect that Butt's efforts were more the effort of an unstable mind than genuine curiosity), I still have not received a response. This is obviously because he found out that what I was saying was true all along: that the name with which my grandfather died was the name of a person who was never born in Michigan.

Actually, I was kind of curious as to what Butt would find: It never occurred to me to look up my grandfather's birth record in Michigan (under his real name... or even see if there was some record of his assumed name somewhere in Michigan after the fact). But, since whatever answer Butt received was not to his satisfaction or benefit, I guess I'll never know.

Butt, I'm sorry... and amused... that you wasted your time.

And, due to the fact that you did spend so much time finding out so much about a person whom you don't plan on having sex with... or giving money to... or trusting with your children, I'm no longer in doubt: You're an idiot.

Steve said...

Mmm, Jil, aren't you giving an awful lot of personal information, a trail to your true identity? Given your war against that Harris guy (I didn't read the details but he seems a nasty piece of work) and the fact your wife can be tracked down in the Philippines (photo, area where she lives, etc)...

I've read your blog for many years so I know you don't worry, but I would not feel comfortable.

Steve said...

Fascinating story about your grandfather, by the way.

Jil Wrinkle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jil Wrinkle said...


I have all kinds of secrets. To be honest, but my name is not one of them. I just figured it would be fun to say so... a bit of intrigue for my readers.

Other than powerless twerps like Harris (all he has ever done / ever can do is call me names) people knowing my real name poses no risk. Mr. Butt kind of illustrated out the farcical and pointless "bottom line" of the whole thing in a rejected vituperative comment he left to me, ominously-but-comically threatening to get other blog-owning friends of his to write about how I lie about my name on the internet.

Nobody puts up a personal blog on the internet and shares most of the details about their lives if they aren't comfortable doing so, and if they don't expect deranged fans like Butt to try to find out more. That's human nature.

Several people wrote to tell me they found my other work website, just as I expected them to, just as I figured. No big deal... my name is actually out there in lots of places on the internet. (That, I did fib about, obviously.) But it really is my "Sam Clemons" to my "Mark Twain": One and the same, interchangeable, both applicable, both in use, and both carry equal force and measure. But, knowing one and not the other... or both... carries no particular power over me, nor does it really give me any distinct power over anybody else.

Glad you enjoyed my Grandfather's story. Once again, for the record, every bit of it is true. Changing my name back to the name of his birth... I never got to know what he thought (he really "left us" in 1990 with a stroke) about my name change. I hope he didn't mind.

As for somebody trying to find me or my wife, knowing my name isn't going to have any bearing on that. The location of Epril's new home is a secret, but that is so that her mentally unstable mother wouldn't come by the place and get in fights with people. But, anybody who wants to hang out at the shopping mall long enough... eventually she (along with every other person in Cagayan De Oro you could want to meet) will walk by.

Jil Wrinkle said...

By the way, the real point of this whole post was to see if anybody could find out the one major and interesting aspect of my life that I have never taken the time to discuss on my blog. So far, of several people nosing around, nobody has found it yet, which actually surprises me.

I was hoping to get the opportunity to say, "Yes! Taa daa! That was me!"

For those of you looking, when you find it, (a) you'll immediately know it, and (b) you'll smack yourselves in the head and say, "Of course!"

And those of you who already know: No helping.

Jil Wrinkle said...

Now Butt is commenting and threatening that he is going to waste his time in all sorts of amusing ways.

No Butt, I'm not posting your comments because the ladies in my life get upset when they read angry stuff from deranged fans.

Still running around that white elephant sitting in the middle of the room looking for clues though, Butt. You really are dumb.

Soledad said...

That was quite interesting story. Though I do not really understand it all since I am not particular with laws and legal matter. The idea of changing name is just fascinating. Hot debate in comment section, I learned something by the way. Haha.