A Toy Story 3 Movie Review

Subtitled: Why I'm Not A Professional Writer

I'll cut and paste the first half: You have to click to read the rest.

The third film in Pixar's Toy Story series is the most dogmatic to date. It's the story of mankind's relationship with God, and its position on how humans should relate to the almighty couldn't be clearer. The script may as well have been written by John Calvin himself.

God

The God in this film goes by the name of Andy, and at the beginning of the movie it's established that he is about to move on to universes new, leaving behind the realm he has ruled over up until now. AndyGod's problem is that his current universe is populated with toys that he has loved and cherished throughout his existence, and before he can leave he has to decide what to do with them. He has four choices: he can take them with him to his new domain; he can hand them over to a different god (so okay, maybe the script isn't as Calvinist as I said above); he can consign them to a worldly attic purgatory; or he can send them to Hell. He chooses the third option for all the toys except his favourite, Woody, with whom he is well-pleased.

Woody

Woody is a sanctimonious prick who spends his entire life reminding all his colleagues of AndyGod's greatness and infallibility and generally bossing people around. When AndyGod decides to send the rest of the toys to purgatory, Woody supports Him totally -- and we must assume that had AndyGod decided instead to send them to Hell, Woody would be quoting Romans 3:10 as justification and telling them to suck it up because the potter can do whatever he wants with his clay.

When, by mistake, the mother of AndyGod sets the toys on a path towards Hell, Woody rushes to save them. But why? Is it because he's concerned for his colleagues, or because the Law of his Lord has been interfered with? I think it's probably the latter, because Woody is a dick.

The Other Toys

When the toys realise that they're destined for Hell they (understandably) become angry and decide to reject AndyGod and go off to find other gods to serve. Woody remonstrates with them, telling them they should remain faithful and that it was all a mistake; but under the leadership of the Female Temptress Jesse, the others won't listen to him. As far as they're concerned whether their deity has abandoned them to Hell or Purgatory makes little difference; the issue is that they've been abandoned, while Woody has not.

When they all arrive in a kind of Paradise for toys, a place where they will be played with all day long (which after all, is what they were designed for), Woody is still griping and insisting that they return to AndyGod's house and get themselves up into Attic Purgatory where they belong, while he swans off to whatever exciting new place AndyGod is going to. The other Toys again ignore him, looking forward to a new life of hedonism...

And this, of course, proves to be their downfall.

I said click.