Sunday, December 19, 2010

Daily Report: Dumb Ideas

Payday Friday. I went to Walmart and bought a coffee grinder and some glass containers to put kitchen utensils in. (My mother was using a plastic water pitcher for spatula storage... figured I could add bit of pizzazz to the kitchen if I'm going to be staying here.)

I decided to try the new "do it yourself checkout counter" at WalMart. A friendly female voice guides me through the process: "Scan your first item. Thank you. Place it in the bag. Thank you. Scan your next item. Thank you. Place it in the bag. Thank you."

"Unauthorized item placed in bag. Please step back from the machine and place your hands on your head. The police have been called. Do not resist." Alarms sound.

Well... okay. It did say, "Unauthorized item placed in bag." There was a loud beep-beep-beep sound, and a nice WalMart lady came over to prove that humans actually are necessary in the checkout process. With all the people standing in lines being helped by actual cashiers looking at me steal stuff... and try to put cashiers out of a job... obviously I won't be using that dumb idea again.

After that it was over to Publix where I bought some whole-bean coffee and some sushi. Then I saw the big bag of frozen strawberries in the freezer... I had a great idea... strawberry margaritas.

It was off to ABC Liquor Store. I had actually planned on buying a martini tumbler... you know, a shaker with a spout that you pull off. The first one I found was $35. Screw that. Then I found one... the cheapest... for $22. I gritted my teeth and put it in my cart. Then tequila and triple sec for margaritas. On my way to the checkout counter, I passed a Grey Goose Vodka display: Get a 750 mL bottle of vodka plus a martini tumbler for $25. Obviously the $22 tumbler went back on the shelf... dumb idea to be selling expensive tumblers in the same store where you are giving them away for almost nothing.

Cousin Paul (Uncle Bob's son... not to be confused with Stepdad Paul) is home for Christmas. (He's up in Pittsburgh studying gunsmithery... and hopes to start his apprenticeship early next year.) He and Uncle Bob and Cousin Bobby came over to the house for cocktails. Obviously: Strawberry Margaritas (recipe here). Then Uncle Bob went out to the store and bought steaks and cooked them for us on the grill. By the time I was supposed to start work, I couldn't see straight. That second picther of margarita was a dumb idea. (So I did what any lonely husband would do when faced with a night off from work... made another pitcher of margarita and chatted with my wife on webcam all night.)

On Saturday morning, I woke up sick: It was about 50% from the booze and about 50% from the sushi... bad stomach. Supermarket sushi... I won't be trying that dumb idea again. And I really won't be washing it down with a couple of pitchers of margaritas. I was so drained that I stayed in bed all day Saturday, all the way through to Sunday afternoon.

Oh... but fortunately Sister Nancy's Christmas present arrived on Friday as well: Some good books, which kept me company in bed throughout the weekend. Good idea, Sis. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

Funny stuff those self checkout aisles have been around over 10 years by the way haha! Where have you been haha! I still hate them and cant figure them out for anything. In some parts of the country I have traveled they are almost mandatory in stores. Went to a few that had 10 self checkout lines and one with an actual cashier witch forces you to use them. So I shopped around and found a store that doesnt have them and now avoid stores that do. I think they suck and yes I need a cashier to scan my donuts lol! Happy holidays to you, Epril, and the family!

from Jakal

Anonymous said...

I miss Publix. It's an awesome store and I always liked the cleanliness of it compared to the groceries we have here in Hawaii. Guess it's time to visit the family in Florida again.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jil, so glad you're enjoying them! They are so addictive and fun so I figured they would be perfect while you are on your own. -Nancy