Writing That Makes You Want To Duck

Brian Lambert of YouAreDumb.net, is a spectacular master of the art of snark. He uses an amusingly straightforward, profanity-laced, imagery-laden style that hits so hard and so fast that you instinctively feel that debating the punctilios of what he says is pointless. Today is a perfect example, discussing the Norm Coleman / Al Franken election thingy in Minnesota:

This is why I don't actually have a huge problem with Toothy McBoughthisdentistaboat's latest court challenge. Sure, it's completely hypocritical, given that Norm was almost exactly as many votes ahead when he demanded that Franken ditch the recount for the good of the state. But we all knew it was hypocritical when he said it, just like we knew the sky was blue. If Norm has a case, the court will hear it. And if, as is likely, Norm doesn't have a case, we'll all get to laugh at him. I like Al, but he's got six years to be a Senator. There's no rush.

And at the end of it all, when Norm's court challenges fail, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh and right-wing nutjobs will say for the next six years that he stole the election. There's no way to stop them. So the best thing to do is to brag about it. Yes, we stole it. We stole it out from under your fucking noses, in front of live webcams, with the help of Republican judges, over the course of a two-month public process.

We stole it, and it was a fucking Oceans Eleven caper, requiring the Democratic party to have cunning, discipline, unity, and a willingness to do anything to come out ahead of the GOP. It was brilliantly executed, and there's not a damn thing any of you troglodytes can do about it. So there. Never mind that the mythical Democratic Party that could have pulled this off hasn't existed for decades, assuming it ever existed in the first place. These people think cutting taxes raises revenue. They'll believe ANYTHING.

So rub it in their thick, slack-jawed, drooling faces. Let them have a bit of fear in their hearts that Democrats are ruthless, amoral political manipulators. We could use the boost in our reputation after the Roland Burris clusterfuck of the past week. Machiavellian we ain't.

And/but yes, Wolcott is still my favorite.